Wasted Second Chance
by Shuffle Princess
Summary: A car accident. He lived, she died. She begged God for another chance to live. God granted her wish... But in the end, her second chance was wasted.
1. Mikan Sakura

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gakuen Alice and the characters used. The plot was all I own.**

_**Some notes: **_**REVISED. AND YES. I WILL INCLUDE A SEQUEL WITH NATSUME'S POINT OF VIEW.**

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><p><strong>Wasted Second Chance<strong>

Written by **LunarChan**

(A Gakuen Alice Two Shots – Mikan Sakura and Natsume Hyuuga)  
>[TragedyHurt/Comfort/Angst/Romance]

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><p>"Drink more," Natsume placed a shot glass in front of me and I felt my head lighter than before.<p>

I grasped the shot glass within my right hand and smiled before gulping all of it. He smiled back in return.

"That's my girl..." He placed his hands on top of mine on the small round table and my cheeks instantly flushed.

_Silly Natsume. _He loved making me blush.

The night was young and the teenagers around the club continued to party and rock on. He offered his hand to me and I giggled before taking it and he led me to the dance floor. The music was hard rock and I can't really enjoy it, but we're dancing like the song was a mellow classic.

He planted a kiss on my lips for a second and I felt like my heart would explode any minute now. Blood filled my face and I know I looked like an idiot now.

"I love you," He murmured as we continued to dance. His arms snaked around my waist and my hands were wrapped up around his well-built shoulders.

"I love you more." I whispered back and swayed my body with his.

**-xXxXx-**

"Are you sure you're alright to drive, Natsume?" I asked. We just left the club and we were now heading to the parking lot.

"Or course–_hic_–, I am." He answered, playing with the car keys on his hand.

"I can drive us home." I offered, although knowing that my boyfriend wouldn't even let me touch the wheel with my condition.

"Nope," He said, popping the _P _and flashing his brilliant smile at me.

At times like this, I could feel Natsume's love for me... His protection over me. That he didn't want me to drive.

_Or maybe, it's just pride._

"Just let me drive your car this once." I argued, though I never won in any argument with him. "It wouldn't hurt you to let me. I don't think you can even grip the steering wheel."

He stopped walking. We already reached his car. He turned around and held my face with both of his hands. "I can do this. For you." And he kissed my forehead. "Get in, now."

I nodded and quickly made my way to the other side of the car, opened the door, hopped in and closed it. I was never in a hurry to go back home – knowing no one's waiting for me there. But I was just speechless – always speechless when he kisses me.

I looked over him and watched him wear his seatbelt and put the keys into ignition.

_At least, he could drive._

I rested my head back on the seat and reclined it so that I could relax a bit. My eyelids slammed shut as my back hit the soft leather seat. I heard the car started and was already zooming off into the streets. I groggily opened my eyes to see him driving. His forehead was creased like there was some kind of a problem he was holding back or something of the sort. I don't know.

I sat up. "What's the matter?"

"Huh?"

"You look... worried?"

"What?" His chuckle echoed around the car. "No, I'm not. Well... A little bit. I was worried of taking you home. I don't want your mother to scold you." And he turned his head to wink at me.

I laughed, but that laughing moment was instantly finished when I saw the truck only meters away from us. "NATSUME!" I quickly pointed for the truck.

"Shit," He muttered and sharply turned left but the truck still hit the car with intensity and I instantly hugged Natsume.

_No, no, no, no, no._

Blackness... Darkness... Pain...

Emptiness...

There was blackness. Too much of it. I was already suffocating. I can feel the weak thumping of my heart now. I wanted to fight, but I can't move. It was like I was blind. I can't see anything. I can only see mere darkness around me...

The blackness was overpowering me and I felt strangely fluffy and it's as if my body was floating on top of a cloud.

I heard a grunt.

_Natsume!_

I wanted to shout, to ask if he's okay. But the blackness around me prevented me from doing so. I heard the car door opened and some footsteps.

"Thanks, man." I heard Natsume murmured.

_T-Thanks...?_

The more I tried to fight the black surroundings, the more it existed and swallowed me.

The darkness swallowed me and I felt like I was sliding inside a giant tube... And just after that frightening, cold and dark experience, I felt the warmness on my skin and on every part of my body. I can move now.

I opened my eyes and the bright light was so blinding that I had to cover my eyes.

_Where am I?_

My body stopped sliding or floating or whatever that motion was. I felt my back hit something hard and I got up. My body was sore and the accident was still fresh from my mind.

The first thing I did was to look at my body. I was surprised for my injuries were gone and I was wearing all white.

I stared at my hands. There wasn't even a scratch. I could still remember hitting my head badly and not being able to move freely.

I can still remember the pain. But it seemed too far away now. There's no pain on my body.

I felt so light-headed.

"My child," A voice roared behind the bright light.

I squinted my eyes as I tried to see behind it. _W-Who are you?_

"I am that I am." That deep voice answered and it echoed on this white paradise.

I gasped. _G-God?_

"Welcome to Heaven, my dear child."

_I-I'm dead? _I wanted to cry, but there was no stinging on my eyes. Just an absent, aching feeling.

If I'm in Heaven, I shouldn't be feeling blue; I heard my Mom said that.

"Yes, my child. You remember the car accident. You died. But all your pain was gone now."

_W-What about Natsume? _I felt another aching and longing feeling on my chest.

"He's alive and well, my child. You protected him."

_I left him._

"You did your part, my child."

_I... I still want to live._

"Your share on his life is over now, my dear."

_But... I still want to say thank you to him. And that... I love him so much._

"My child, you already did."

_But... Please, God. Can't I have another chance to talk to him and tell him how much he means to me?_

There was silence and I thought God got tired of me. I felt down, but my body is not feeing down. It's only my mind. Is this what it feels like to be in heaven and someone you love was left on earth?

It seems like eternity before his voice rang throughout the entire paradise and my head jolted up in surprise.

"My child, I feel your longingness for him, and thus, I am giving you another chance."

_A second chance?_

"Yes, a second chance. But... You will be given limited time. And... Everything will not be the same again." I don't know why, but I can sense the sadness in God's voice.

_Thank you so much. Thank you, God. Thank you._

"Are you sure it's what you want?"

_Yes, God. Definitely sure._

"I hope you'll be happy with the choice you made..."

...

...

...

...

...

I felt the stinging pain on my head once again and the memory was still fresh from my mind.

I can feel my body now. With my eyes still closed, I pinched my stomach. "Oww," It's real. I'm back. I'm alive. God gave me a second chance.

I tried to feel where I am. I let my fingers run over to where my body was currently resting, and I felt bed sheets.

I'm on a bed.

To satisfy my curiosity, I finally opened my eyes and take a look at my surroundings.

I was in a room. I don't know whose room is this. The room was spacious. The walls were painted with purplish paint. There were posters and posters of rock band and there was a desk that was slightly messy. On top of it were albums and CDs and some papers with guitar chords in it. The trash bin was filled with crumpled papers and the cabinet was opened wide with some clothes sticking out. The clothes were always dark-colored: blue, navy blue, black, violet, dark pink, fuchsia...

_Whose room is this?_

I lifted my feet gently and realized that my nail polish was red. I didn't even remember putting it on. Whose joke is this? I'm wearing a mini skirt and a dark pink long-sleeved blouse. I saw my left arm which was filled with red armbands. And my nail polish was also red.

_Who on earth did this to me?_

Grunting, I stood up and went in front of the cabinet and faced the mirror.

The first thing that went inside my mind was _Who am I?_

I can no longer see the Mikan I was supposed to be.

The image in the mirror reflected my horrified gaze and copied what I was doing. Touching my hair, touching my dress and my body.

Then I remembered what God said to me, _"Everything will not be the same again..."_

I was given a second chance on another body. COOL.

My hair was reddish-brown and it had some red highlights to it. My eyes were deep black now and I have to get used to this. My lips were thin and my nose was just right. My skin was still the fair, creamy white skin I used to have. The only thing that irked me was the heavy makeup.

I have to get used to this.

But not the heavy makeup.

I got a towel from one of the drawers and headed to the mini-bathroom inside the room. I let the water wash over my face and it felt good.

When I was done washing my face, I looked at my new self on the mirror.

Looking slightly good.

I grabbed a brush and brushed my too tangled hair.

_Whose body is this? _If my time will be up, I'll leave a note to this person to take care of her body.

I took a bath and pulled out some fresh clothes from the cabinet. I changed to a red blouse with black skirt and a pair of sneakers.

I searched for this person's bag or wallet or purse or something where she hides her personal things. I saw a mini black purse with a skull imprinted on it. I grabbed it and opened it to find some petty cash.

_Whoa. Rich girl. _I grinned as I slid the mini purse on my body.

I took a deep breath before opening the door and to my surprise there was an old woman in front of me that slightly resembled who I am, right now.

"Oh," I mumbled.

"Wow, Amane." So Amane is my name. Not quite flashy. "This is the first time I've seen you go out of your room without your makeup."

"I know, Mom." I rolled my eyes. "For a change."

"Where are you going?" She asked and glanced at the wall clock on the hallway. "Shouldn't you be late for Nana's band concert?"

"I'm not going there, today, Mom. Change of plans." I answered and headed down the stairs before Amane's Mom bombarded me with questions that I don't know if I could still answer all of it.

First thing I wanted to go was the bar where Natsume and I usually goes to.

I called a cab and hopped in, told the driver the address and slumped back. Good thing they're slightly rich.

**-xXxXx-**

There's still a big crowd in here. My eyes adjusted to the dim disco lights and searched for a certain raven-haired lad.

I found him nowhere.

_Well, he must still be grieving over my death. _I realized that and made my way to the exit when I bumped to a guy and his drink got spilled all over my red blouse.

"Oh my," I groaned and looked up.

I was surprised to see that piercing ruby eyes once again.

"Oh, sorry," He mumbled. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

"Oh, it's fine." I shook my head and smiled at him... The smile that the old Mikan wear. Even though I'm not on my body, my feelings never changed.

"Still, I'm sorry." He offered a hanky to wipe my shirt and I gladly took it.

What a nice way to meet him again. I felt that strange electricity run over me again and that excitement that I always get when we dated.

"I'm Natsume." He opened the palm of his hand. I shook it.

"I'm Mik–" I almost said my true name. If he knew that I was resurrected in another's body, he would be crept out. "Mika."

"Oh," And she smiled. "Nice name you got there."

It was like déjà vu.

...

...

...

We continued to meet at nights and sometimes, Amane's friends would come over at the house and they would ask me to join them in a concert and I always politely declined. I don't even know how to play a guitar.

And I even heard Amane's Mom mumbled to her husband, "Amane's so weird these days. I mean, it's good that she's not hanging around with those rocker friends of hers, but she's acting all distant and like she's a stranger."

And I decided to also include them on my time. Eating and laughing with them, bonding with them. Watching television with them.

But my main priority was Natsume.

We've been going out for nights and it thrilled me. I mean, yes, I'm so glad that we're going out again. But it still pained me to know that he dated another woman when my real body was lifeless. I mean, how could he replace me that quick?

I don't know whether to be happy or not. It's so strange. Also considering the last words I heard from him... _"Thanks, man." _I mean, why would he thank the one who nearly crushed us both? Nearly crushed him? I died because I wanted to protect him. But... How can he just thank him?

Those thoughts echoed on my mind and I felt such gloom. I wanted answers to those things, but it'd be strange to suddenly ask about his ex.

About me.

"Hey," He asked and I realized I was just staring at the meal in front of me. We were in a fine dining restaurant. "You okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Sort of." I shrugged and laughed sheepishly. "Kinda spacing out."

He smiled a full-toothed smile at me and I felt my heart tug that strange rhythmic beat.

I ate in silence and this was the first time I did eat with him not talking and me not talking to him, either. It felt weird.

"Umm... You know," He began. "I don't want to compare you or anything... But you're actions remind me of my ex-girlfriend."

"Y-Your ex-girlfriend?"

"Yes," He nodded. "It's kinda creepy and all. But I'm not mentioning that you're creepy. It's kinda... off."

"Yeah. It must suck." I nodded and forked a mushroom. "What was she like?" This will be the only chance I could get to ask him about it.

"She was the dumbest person alive." And he roared a laugh.

"Dumb?"

"Wait." He noticed my reaction. "I'm not saying you're dumb. Your actions are just similar."

"Okay." I tried to calm myself.

"She was dumb, but sweet. She was also so annoying. Her sweetness was too annoying, actually."

"Sweetness is annoying?" I checked. "Being sweet is being annoying?"

"She _is_ annoying. Every part of her _is_ annoying."

"Did you break up with her?" I suddenly asked.

"No," He shook his head. "She died."

"_She died." _His words weren't gloomy at all. It hurt me. The way he said those words... It's as if he didn't care about me at all. And I wonder if he did. Or if he just saw me as that plain-dumb-and-annoying girl.

"S-She died...?" I repeated; my words nearly got stuck on my throat.

"Yeah, she died." He nodded and continued eating. It was as if he never felt sadness I the first place.

"H-How?"

He looked straight into my eyes and I know that he could sense the burning curiosity on my mind now. "We've been dating for a long while now."

"Huh?"

He took a deep breath and his voice was a mere whisper. "I was the one who killed her."

"What?" I exasperated.

"Yes," Then he laughed. "I know you might hate me and even not go out with me if I say this, but... I planned it all. I planned to kill her ever since the beginning."

"H-How on earth could you do that?" I fought myself to not shout.

"Well, it was easy." He explained. "I contracted a truck driver to bump my car. And I know how her mind works. She would instantly protect me. So... I turned the car left, so that the damage will be on her side. On the passenger's seat."

Unknowingly, tears formed on my eyes and I stood up.

"H-Hey, Mika." He called out. "W-What...? Where are you going?" I turned my back on him and his tone changed. "So you hate me now?"

_You just don't know how much I love you. But... I can't do it anymore._

It was all so clear to me. That's why God was reluctant to let me go.

My second chance... It was wasted.

If only I knew, I should've visited my family instead. My family who was really grieving for me.

My eyes were blurred and I can't see clearly now. Someone opened the door for me.

"T-Thank you for coming, Ma'am." Someone voiced out and I continued to walk on my path, the throbbing pain was still on my chest.

_He fooled me. He made a fool out of me. How dare he?_

I can't fight the tears. It kept on coming. I heard the door opened again and some footsteps.

"Mika," I heard him monotone. I didn't dare to look back.

Everthing made sense now. He didn't love me. I was just a toy to him. When he's bored, he can play with me... When he lost interest, he could replace me... Was that how he saw me? A toy?

"MIKA, LOOK OUT!" I heard him shout and I turned to look at my right and saw a giant truck and the driver honked loudly at me.

_This is it. My time is over._

I felt my body hurt so much. It was like being grinded inside the coffee grinder, being wrestled by a wrestler, and being submerged in an acid – all that, at the same time. I felt my limp body was thrown away and I heard someone run towards me.

"MIKA!" His face was very worried. I don't know if this was all an act or not.

"I-I love you, Natsume," I mouthed before closing my eyelids shut.

_Goodbye._

**THE END**

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

**I tweaked some parts a little bit – added some words to make it realistic and edited it, too. I also noticed that my pronouns were very wrong on this fiction. I suck. -.- Because at first, I wrote this in normal point of view, so I just edited the 'he' and 'she' to 'me', 'he' and 'him'. And... Yeah. Some slipped off. And I was too careless to not reread this again. I noticed how badly it sucked. XD**

**So... The sequel, as many of you wanted it so badly, I will be putting it up in a few days or weeks, depending on my mood and free time. (School starts on Nov. 2 for me. -.- How unlucky.) The second semester will start. And.. that means less time to write and more time to sulk at studying. XD**

**I love school... I mean, my friends at school. :DD**

**Oh, yeah.**

**So, I will promote some random thingamajiggers here:**

_**Authors of Gakuen Alice – **_**the wonderful authors of Gakuen Alice. If you're also a writer, why not join? :) It's very fun nad you're just missing all the fun. Type on the Facebook search bar: Authors of Gakuen Alice, click Join Group and you won't regret it. I swear.**

_**-Gakuen Alice- - **_**An awesome fanpage of GA. They include the latest updates with Higuchi-sama's blog and the latest GA Raw chapters. Just type: www (dot) facebook (dot) com / and hit the button like!**

**Pardon me for this too long speech because I won't be active too much on this site for there's too many things I've got to worry about in the future. XD**

**And...**

**DON'T FORGET TO DROP A REVIEW. THANKS. ;))**

_**~ LunarChan **_**(Edited as of 11-01-11;11:21pm)**

**^ Ooh. Too many 1's. XD Is that considered to be lucky? XD**

**P.S.: I'm thinking of changing my FFN penname. Which is cooler, "FLAVORS OF LOVE" or "CURSED PEPPERMINT" ? I've asked them on FB and they all said Peppermint was cooler. -.- They all want me to be cursed. XD LOL.**

**Oh, add me on FB: Janee Lunar**

**:) That's my name on FB. ^ :D**


	2. Natsume Hyuuga

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice and the characters used. Enough said. XD**

**_Notes: Some scenes that were seen on Mikan's POV won't be foreplayed here. It's necessary, believe me. ;)_**

**_Natsume's thoughts are the italicized parts. Go and peek what's inside his mind that time. :D_**

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><p><strong>Wasted Second Chance<strong>

(Sequel – Natsume Hyuuga's Point of View)

Written by **LunarChan**

(A Gakuen Alice Two Shots – Mikan Sakura and Natsume Hyuuga)  
>[TragedyHurt/Comfort/Angst/Romance]

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><p>My heart thudded audibly on my chest as I recalled what I had to do tonight.<p>

The song was loud and the drums sounded like my heart's beating – fast, irregular, broken, and just like a drum, it was an instrument.

"I love you," I murmured as I wounded my arms around her slender waist.

_I love you._

_One last time._

"I love you more," She mumbled back and placed her arms on my shoulders.

_I love you more than I could tell you._

**-xXxXx-**

My hands were shaky as I drove towards the dark, slick roads. Tonight was the perfect night for it. But... I don't want to do this.

"What's the matter?" She broke my reverie. I heard her lean on the leather seat on my car.

"Huh?" I blinked.

"You look... Worried." She asked.

"What?" I tried to sound intimidating and I chuckled. "No... I'm not."

_I actually am too worried._

"Well... A little bit." At the dark road, I saw the object that I'm waiting for. The truck's headlights. "I was worried of taking you home." I lied smoothly; my voice betrayed no hint of nervousness. "I don't want your mother to scold you." I turned my head her way and winked at her.

She believed me and laughed her mellow laugh. I listened to that delicious sound for I know, this will be the last time I'm going to hear it.

Just then, she shifted her eyes back to the road while I took my time looking at her dazzling face. Her eyes widened and I know what she saw. "NATSUME!" She yelled and pointed in front.

I gazed at the truck ahead of us. "SHIT." I cursed as I sharply turned the car around, but I'm late. I'm too late.

I closed my eyes when I heard the glass break and I felt fragile arms and a body wrapped up to mine.

_No! _I wanted to shout. But I couldn't dare to. I groaned as I realized she hugged me. She sacrificed herself for me. I actually wanted for the both of us to die... But she...

I bit my lip as Mochu slid out of the truck. I reminded myself to calm down. _She might not be dead. I just have to hurry._

I unwounded myself from her and blood oozed down her head. I cringed when I can't hear her heartbeat anymore. I hurriedly got out of my car. Mochu was looking weirdly at me.

"Thanks, man." I murmured weakly. _Bastard, why didn't you kill me, too? _Was actually what I wanted to say.

"No prob." He smiled and scratched his head. "Are you okay?"

"I am."

_But she's not._

"Your head doesn't hurt?"

When he said that, I touched my head and winced when I felt a bump and some wet thing on it. I looked at my fingers. Blood. "No, I'm fine."

"So what do we do now? She's done for, right? My job's done, but I can't leave you here."

"Let's bring her to the hospital."

_She might still be saved. _I felt a shimmer of hope.

"Why do we have to bring her to the hospital when we were asked to kill her?" He asked, raising his black brow.

"Uh..." Why is he acting smart? Damn. "For it to be more realistic. A car accident. We brought her to the hospital, Dead on Arrival."

"Oh, yeah." He nodded and we both went back to my wrecked car.

I opened the door and Mochu helped me get her unmoving body out.

_I hope I'm not yet too late. _Mochu and I carried her to his truck and he drove towards the hospital. _You have to be strong, Mikan. Don't give up._

We arrived on the hospital and we immediately brought her to the emergency room. Outside the ER, I saw them tear her dress and put that iron thing on both sides or her chest.

"And clear." The doctor said, and her body rose slightly when the iron touched her.

_You can do it, Mikan. Be strong._

"What are you doing, man?" I almost jumped when I heard Mochu's voice behind me.

"Uhh, making sure she's not alive." I muttered, not looking at him.

"Oh," He remarked and watched with me.

"No response." The nurse murmured.

"Excuse me, sir." A nurse approached me. My eyes landed at her and she looked worriedly at me.

"Yes?"

"Won't you get your head treated?" She questioned. "It looks pretty bad."

"Oh," I had forgotten about my head.

"Yeah, man. Let her treat your wound."

"Sure."

_But my heart was wounded. Not my head._

**-xXxXx-**

"Good, Natsume." My father smirked at me as Mochu and I brought him the news that she's dead. I felt my heart crumple again. "You actually took a long time before making a move."

"Of course, I don't want them to be suspicious of me." I replied coldly.

I felt dead, too. I don't want to live anymore. I don't want to. I have to die somewhere, too. And we'll be both very happy in heaven. Or maybe, she's in heaven and I'll go to hell. After what I did.

"That's my boy, alright." He nodded. "You may go."

I turned my back quickly. I had other plans for this day.

"Natsu," Mochu called.

"Leave me alone for a while." I called back at him.

As I descended down the stairs, I recalled the day when my father asked me to do this job.

_"You just have to befriend her." He persuaded me for the fifteenth time._

_"And?" I raised my brow at him._

_"She's the daughter of our competitor. The heir to that company. Her mother just passed the company to her recently. And I want her dead. She's ruining my plans for your bright future, Natsume."_

_"So?"_

_"You have to befriend her. Get her trust. Then make her die and make it an accident."_

_"Why do I have to do that?"_

_"No more questions." His voice hardened. And I know I can't disobey him. "I want you to do this. End of story."_

It's actually not the 'End of Story'. It's just when I had realized how I've been missing a lot of things in life.

That's just when my life started. It became fun and more colorful. My cold and lifeless life that my Dad had planned for me; it became the opposite when she became mine.

I wanted to turn back to my obligation. I wanted Dad to get some other man's ass to do his dirty work. Not me. But when he made up his mind, there's no turning back. There's no way I could change his mind.

The only thing I could do was to die with her. And it failed. Because she freaking protected me. Didn't she anticipate protecting herself more than me? That she needed better protection more than I do? That I wanted myself to die, than her?

She's so freaking innocent. And that's why I fell in love with her.

She's too unfit for reality. All she knew was fantasy, romance and good things that weren't real. She's too good for this damn reality. She's too good for me.

I felt my heart waver again as I remembered her.

**-xXxXx-**

There were too many people gathered in this place. They were chatting, and some of them were playing cards. Some children were eating. Their mothers talking to each other, gossiping.

I made my way inside the house I've known and I saw her mother. I felt guiltier than before. Her eyes were round and swollen. It became pinkish because of her endless crying. She smiled a little when she saw me.

We talked for a while and she cried more. I patted her back.

_I'm so sorry. I should've died instead._

"Do you remember when she introduced you to me?" Aunt Yuka sniffed. Her nose was pinkish, too.

I nodded. My heart was breaking every moment that she reminds me of her daughter.

"She was so happy, back then." She laughed bitterly.

"I'm so sorry." I apologized.

_It was my fault, Aunt Yuka. I'm so sorry. You can blame everything to me._

"No," She shook her head. "I'm glad that you're safe, son. But I can't say the same for my daughter. She's too weak."

"It's my fault, Aunt. I... The car... I turned it left, abruptly... and the damage was all..."

"I know you wanted to avoid the truck, son." She cried again. "But... It's too late."

_I'm so sorry._

"Don't worry." She laughed lightly this time. "I'm sure she's happy that she protected you. I'm sure she's happy on heaven." She sniffed. "I'm sure she's blaming herself, actually."

"What?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"That you got hurt." She touched the bandage on my head. "That she wasn't enough to save every part of you... You're too precious to him, son."

I pursed my lips.

"She's not regretting anything, believe me."

_But I'm regretting everything. Every little thing._

I couldn't dare to look at her face inside the white coffin but her Mom tugged my arm and let me take a peek at her. She's lying there. Dead. Cold. Frozen. Because of me.

This wouldn't have happened if I had the guts to just die or I had the guts to kill myself.

**-xXxXx-**

The gin sizzled on my throat before going straight down to my stomach. I wanted to die.

I wish I'd never been born.

Someone kill me now.

I took my martini glass with some more gin left and crossed the bar; hoping I would encounter some thugs here and they would finish this fucking life of mine.

I felt I bumped to somebody.

_Now go. Kill me._

"Oh my," I heard a girly whimper.

My head was slightly dizzy; I turned my head to see a reddish-haired girl. She groaned and looked up.

I saw Mikan's face. My eyes widened and I blinked twice.

I saw two pair of black eyes stare right at me back.

_Great. I'm hallucinating._

"Oh sorry," I mumbled. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

"Oh it's fine." Her tone changed. She smiled at me and it hurt so much. She looked like the reincarnated Mikan.

_Am I dead, already?_

"Still, I'm sorry." I took the handkerchief on my back pocket and handed it to her.

I can see her lips twitch. She was fighting a smile.

She took my handkerchief and carefully wiped the spilled gin on her shirt.

"I'm Natsume." I opened my palm to her.

"I'm Mik–"

_Mikan? _I wanted to yell.

"Mika," She said with a grin on her face.

"Oh, I grinned back, feeling all eerie. "Nice name you got there."

Of all the names to have, why almost the same as hers?

...

Her actions... Her smile... Everything. It always reminds me of her. And I can feel my heart tug this old chain on my heart. A chain that I sealed up.

She always comes to this bar now, always talking to me and I felt like I've found someone again. But I don't have to kill her. This time, I got to keep her forever.

But... What if my Dad asked me to kill Mika? Am I strong enough to handle the heartbreak again? Am I strong enough to do it again?

_I have to make her stay away from me now. _Because if she falls hard for me...

No. I don't even want to think about it.

**-xXxXx-**

"What's this thing I heard that you're dating?" My Dad grumbled at breakfast and I froze.

"What?"

"Who are you dating?"

"I'm not dating." I flinched from his tone. "And are you tailing every little thing I am doing...? Again?"

"So what if I am?" He deadpanned. "It's about your safety."

"Why do you always have to barge in on my life? !" I'm so sick and tired of this.

"Natsume," He sighed and explained. "I want you to live a good life and don't waste your time with that girl you met on that filthy bar."

I cringed. "No. You're not ruling my life."

"I'm not." He smirked. "But you have to marry someone dignified. Not that scary-looking hag."

My eyes widened and I instantly rose from my seat. That was below the belt. "I'm going out."

"Natsume," I heard him monotone after me.

I didn't stop.

"Break up with her or I'll make you break up with her?"

I still didn't stop walking.

"Do you want me to get someone to kill her?"

I stopped dead on my tracks.

_No fucking way. No. No. No. Don't._

"Then break up with her." He deduced and I heard him rise up and walked away.

My teeth clenched together.

**-xXxXx-**

"Hey," I raised my brow at her. "You okay?"

She was just staring in front of her. It was like she was thinking deeply.

_I'm sorry._

The music was mellow. A waiter was playing violin near us.

I have to break another heart again. At least I don't have to kill her.

But...

"Uh, yeah. Sort of." She laughed quietly and shrugged. "Kinda spacing out."

I snickered at her, but my insides were tied on a large knot.

She turned her attention back to eating her meal and it was very weird for her to not talk. Something was bothering her.

But I won't ask. I have to do something today. I have to break up with her.

It's for her sake. For her to be safe. I know somewhere around here in the crowd of people, Dad sent someone to look after me. He's so fucking insane.

"Umm... You know," I began. "I don't want to compare you or anything," I defended myself before continuing. "But your actions remind me of my ex-girlfriend."

I thought that would thaw her out. That it would freak her out and she would give up on me.

But her reaction was something I hadn't anticipated. "Y-Your ex-girlfriend?" It was like she was amused – or interested. And it irked me.

"Yes, it's kinda creepy and all." What I said were too harsh. "But I'm not mentioning that you're creepy. It's kinda..." I searched for words. "Off."

"Yeah, it must suck." Her mood turned to glum and she harshly picked a mushroom with her fork. She literally stabbed it.

_It's better to hurt you this way._

"What was she like?" She suddenly asked.

"She was the dumbest person alive." And I chuckled sourly.

_That dumb girl who would risk her life just to save me. She's a martyr._

"Dumb?" She was angered.

"Wait." I don't know what to say next. "I'm not saying you're dumb." No. Those words slipped out! I have to make him gloomy! It'll be easier to break up that way. "Your actions are just similar." I tried to reason out what I had just said.

"Okay," Her voice quivered slightly.

"She was dumb, but sweet. She was also so annoying." I tried to make a disgusted face at her. "Her sweetness was too annoying, actually."

_She was like a drug. Too addictive and I can't help but give in... And that was just... Annoying. Because she'll still love me despite the bad person I am._

"Sweetness is annoying? Being sweet is being annoying?" Her logic made me nervous. She was smart.

"She _is_ annoying. Every part of her _is_ annoying." I said through clenched teeth.

_Like how she held on to me just to protect me. She could've just let me die! She's too annoying that way. Why didn't she just let me die?_

"Did you break up with her?" Her eyes were filled with curiosity and something else... Hurt? She was hurt?

"No." I shook my head. I calmed myself before continuing. "She died."

_Because of me._

"She died...?" She questioned, her voice thick and hoarse.

"Yeah, she died." I tried to intimidate her. And I think it worked.

"H-How?" She winced.

I looked at her.

_I'm sorry. I have to do this. _"We've been dating for a while, now." I struggled to keep myself from choking out the words.

"Huh?" She was dumbstruck.

"I was the one who killed her." I admitted.

_Go. Be afraid. Hate me._

"What?" She shrieked.

"Yes," I forced my face to laugh. "I know you might hate me and even not go out with me if I say this..."

_Which would actually be better if you do that._

"... But, I planned it all." I continued.

_No, it wasn't me. I'm so sorry. It was my Dad._

"... I planned to kill her ever since the beginning." I made my face look serious.

"How on earth could you do that?" She squeaked. Her voice was sad, now.

_I don't want that, either. I don't want her to die._

"Well, it was easy. I contracted a truck driver to bump my car. And I know how her mind works."

_I didn't actually think she would protect me. I was expecting her to brace herself, rather than embrace me._

"... She would instantly protect me." I explained. "So... I turned the car left, so that the damage will be on her side. On the passenger's seat."

_I actually wanted to turn the car where we would both die. I couldn't do anything. If she's saved, my Dad would make another accident to kill her again... I just have to die with her. But the truck connected with the car a little too soon... And I was too late. Too late._

She shed a tear and stood up.

_I'm so sorry, Mika._

I wanted to stay seated and to remain there quietly. But I can't restrain my emotions. "Hey, Mika."

She ignored me.

"What?" I don't know what to say. "Where are you going?" She turned around, her back facing me. "So, you hate me now, huh?"

_I want you to be safe. Go now._

My heart squeezed tight.

She walked away, leaving me. I don't want her to go. But what can I do? I can't also stay with her and endanger her life! I don't want another girl to suffer!

She was walking wobbly, like she was a drunken woman. And I know she's crying.

I couldn't help it.

_Die. Father. Die. _I don't care anymore.

I stood up and ran after her.

"Mika," I called.

Then from not so far, I heard a truck fast approaching and my eyes widened.

It was the one that Mochu rented. My Dad wanted her dead in an instant!

"MIKA, LOOK OUT!" I screeched and the driver honked loudly.

My legs were numb as her fragile body hit the truck and I saw her being thwarted away.

I forced my frozen legs to run towards her.

_No. Don't. Don't._

"Mika," My voice barely escaped shaking as I held her head on my lap.

_Don't give up on me. No. Don't give your life up. It's okay to give up on me. Just live._

She was bloody all over and her tired eyes zoomed to me. "I... I love you, Natsume," Her bloody lips smiled one last grim smile at me before her eyelids slammed shut.

"NO!" I cried.

**-xXxXx-**

_Everything. Everything was lost. In front of my own two eyes._

I stood up on the edge of the railing. The wind whipped my hair and I shivered. The waves splashed loudly, as if actually waiting for someone to jump and the waves would probably swallow me up.

Don't worry, dear ocean. One body will join you.

_I give up._

My life. I have no reason to live for. I don't care if my Dad would actually cry if I died because no one will inherit his damned company...

I don't care anymore.

_I don't._

With the last intake of oxygen, I gathered my strength and pushed myself downward.

_Goodbye._

**THE END**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Important Author's Notes:<em>**

**_Okay. I know some of you might actually think that Natsume's Dad's actions are unreasonable._**

**_1. Why would Natsume's Dad make him kill the girl, instead of hiring someone to kill her?  
>2. Why did he want Mika (or Amane or Mikan... XDD) to die when she's not an heir or some of the sort to another competitor's company or whatsoever?<em>**

**_Okay. Here's my answer: Natsume's Dad is greedy and selfish. He actually wanted Natsume to kill the girl, Mikan, in order for Natsume to be depressed and kill himself. But his plans were ruined because of Amane – or Mikan, reincarnated – because Natsume wasn't in agony. He wanted the company all to himself._**

**_Now, the ending. Yes. He won. Natsume killed himself._**

**_:/  
>I know it's a poor sequel. But this plot was what came inside my mind. XD<br>And I actually wasn't planning on a sequel anyway. XD_**

**_I actually thought of including his father's story, but this was actually too long. X_X_**

**_Sorry._**

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Jibbajabs: XD<strong>

**Review please? Thanks. :3**

**I really appreciated that you guys requested a sequel. Although, I know this isn't what you're expecting. Or so I thought? XD**

**Review, review review. Yaay!**

**:)**

**THANKS! ;))**

**_~ LunarChan _****(11-09-11)**

**P.S.: I'll update less often now because my laptop was in my sister's possession as of the moment. *sighs* I'm already too lonely without it. :/**


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